Everybody's Talking About The "Boy Crisis." Here's Why You Should Care.
How are boys and men struggling, and what can we do about it?
Hi Readers - There have been a LOT of headlines recently about how boys are “in crisis.” People tend to share them with me, because they know I’m working on a book about boys (this is very appreciated - keep them coming!)
Some of the issues that are mentioned regularly: boys underperforming in school and opting out of college, loneliness, isolation, extremism, violence, and suicide. Here’s a look at some of the pieces that have caught my attention recently. — Christopher
Yes, Men And Boys Are In Crisis — But Traditional Masculinity Won't Help Them
In this essay in Salon, Mary Elizabeth Williams writes that she is “tired of toxic masculinity.”
I mean, I'm tired of its existence in general, particularly in the corrosive radicalization of our boys and young men. But I'm also tired of how the phrase has become synonymous with masculinity in general. I'm tired of the ways in which the suffering of males — especially the ones who aren't white or straight or from a privileged socioeconomic background — is dismissed, marginalized and misunderstood.
She goes on to explain that she thinks our culture is doing a terrible job of defining and encouraging healthy masculinity, and talks to several experts who share ideas about what we can do better.
Young, Male and Adrift
In this essay for Inside Higher Ed, Andrew Reiner looks at why so many boys and young men feel lost and seem to be falling through the cracks
By now, we know boys lag behind in school achievement on nearly every metric. But we may not realize they are falling through the cracks in college—and beyond. The lower grade point averages boys earn in high school follow them throughout college, and when they are faced with academic struggles, many young men spiral into despair, retreating into social isolation or substance abuse, despite efforts from professors and academic advisers. The American College Health Association has found that nearly a third of male college students feel “hopeless” at least some of the time (with 10 percent feeling hopeless “most” or “all” of the time), and about half report challenges handling academics.
After laying out the issues, Reiner suggests a number of solutions, and suggests that a lot more schools should be implementing intervention programs for young men.
Boys Need Our Help and SEL Is the Answer
In this essay in MiddleWeb, teacher and author Jason Ablin argues that schools that schools could be doing a lot more to help boys feel connected:
“We have a powerful, well-researched tool which, if fully implemented into the total package of school culture, would transform the experiences of boys and young men, namely Social Emotional Learning (SEL).
SEL normalizes students talking about their emotions and feelings of vulnerability about the many challenges – academic and social – that young people face. SEL also helps them validate their successes.
By making these conversations the currency of the entire school community, students can feel much more comfortable about issues of personal identity, and also seek help during difficult times. They learn to share reflections about the ups and downs of life in a supported environment.”
“Building Boys” on The Puberty Podcast
Twice a week, The Puberty Podcast weaves together scientific research, parenting strategies, and hilarious stories to help guide adults who are raising kids through puberty.
In this episode, the special guest is
Men Are Lost. Here’s a Map Out of the Wilderness.
“If a new model for masculinity is going to find popular appeal, it will depend on putting the distinctiveness of men to good use in whatever form it comes,” writes Christine Emba in this Washington Post essay.
What would creating a positive vision of masculinity look like? Recognizing distinctiveness but not pathologizing it. Finding new ways to valorize it and tell a story that is appealing to young men and socially beneficial, rather than ceding ground to those who would warp a perceived difference into something ugly and destructive.
6 Ways Parents Can Help End 'The Boy Crisis'
In this essay, my co-author
looks at the boy crisis from several directions, and then share things she triee to consciously integrate into my day-to-day interactions with her boys and their friends — not just to help them feel loved, but also seen, heard and appreciated.The ‘Manning Up of Boys Begins in the Cradle.’
“My own research and work with boys has taught me that the more we ignore their deeper emotional needs in the name of early independence, the more public health risks they face as young adults,” writes Andrew Reiner in this wonderful essay from WBUR.
”It’s ironic, but independence isn’t something you can learn all by yourself,” Reiner writes. “Boys need tolerant, empathetic adults in their lives in order to become self-reliant. They need to know that we care about and value them, even when we don’t agree with their desires and decisions.”
A bit about me: I have a passionate belief that all young people deserve high-quality, fact-based information about their bodies and their health. After working as a professional journalist (and a volunteer sex educator!) for several years, in 2002 I decided to become a high school health teacher. Since then, I’ve taught thousands of young people about things like stress, sleep, healthy relationships, and substance use. For the last decade, I’ve also been coordinating the Young Men’s Health Project in San Francisco schools, which brings teen boys together in small groups to build positive, supportive relationships and discuss healthy masculinity. I’m currently co-writing the book TALK TO YOUR BOYS with
and listening to IDLES sing about masculinity.If you enjoyed this post, please forward it to someone else who might like it, and click the ❤️ or 🔁 button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack. 🙏🏼