How To Get Better At Talking About Sex And Sexuality
There are SO MANY great resources to help you get past the awkwardness and start really having the talks
Hi readers. I know this fall has been a very stressful time for a lot of people. I’m thinking about you and hope you are hanging in ok.
I’m going to rewind the clock more than 20 year, to the first time I stepped into a classroom as a sex educator. Amazingly, I felt VERY prepared. Why? Well, I’d been spending a lot of volunteer hours answering the phones at the San Francisco Sex Information hotline.
In the days before Google, people would call the hotline to get confidential, accurate, non-judgmental information about sexuality, gender, and relationships. We had to be prepared for a WIDE variety of questions and concerns, and recognize that callers often felt embarrassment, worry, or shame related to their sexuality.
The skills I learned on that switchboard have proven invaluable to me as a parent and teacher. I’m so grateful I had that experience, and I want help other people get more comfortable talking about things like relationships, bodies, and consent.
Luckily, there are now a LOT of terrific supports available to help folks learn those skills. In today’s newsletter, I’m shining a spotlight on a few of the most interesting options. I hope you discover something new and useful!
P.S. Two quick things:
When violent porn is everywhere, is there a case for serving up romantic counterprogramming to your teen boy?
That’s the question wrestles with in New York Magazine this week. I was glad to be quoted here, along with fantastic sexuality educators and parenting experts like , Heather Corinna, , Vanessa Kroll Bennett, Karen Rayne, and . There’s a discussion about this article in the chat if you want share your opinion - I’d love to hear about your experiences.Ashanti Branch, who I interviewed earlier this year, has a new podcast series focusing on male educators - check it out here. It pairs well with the latest post from about the big need for more male teachers.
Discover New Sex Ed Supports
Take A Free Course With Sex Ed To-Go
Parents, caregivers and other trusted adults have an important role in sex education, but they often need some guidance. Sex Ed To-Go is here to help, with it’s free three-part “Let’s Talk” series for parents and caregivers.
Let’s Talk, Part 1 is about preparing yourself and how to explore and manage your own emotions and messages about sex and relationships before you share with your children.
Let’s Talk, Part 2 is about handling emotional conversations well: why vulnerability is important, how to honor your child's or teen's complicated or strong emotions, and how to ask careful questions.
Let’s Talk, Part 3 provides tips for successful conversations, conversation openers, examples for answering questions, and what information is age appropriate.
You can find the same courses available in Spanish here.
For parents and caregivers looking for resources to learn more or to supplement what their child is learning in school, the How to Teach Sex Ed at Home toolkit provides tips and tools, including curriculum guides by age, info on how to assign Sex Ed To-Go courses to your kids, and questions to ask to assess knowledge and spur conversation.
While you’re there, check out:
Sex Ed To-Go for Teachers, which offers a wide array of “bite-sized professional development courses to feel more comfortable teaching sex ed” for free
Sex Ed To-Go for Students, which hosts free short courses that cover foundational topics like anatomy, STIs, pregnancy prevention, consent, relationship skills and how to access health services.
Get Some Expert Guidance
When talking about sexuality, a lot of adults struggle with figuring out exactly what topics to talk about with kids and when to introduce them. That’s why Talk More developed its free Parent Planners. Here’s their pitch:
”Let us demystify it for you. Instead of spinning your wheels trying to figure out the best resources out there, just use our recently updated curated curriculum for parents. Our Parent Planners are divided by age and topic and included suggested resources for you (the grown-up), suggested activities for you and your kid to review together, and sample talking points.”
Listen To An Audio Course
In the six lessons of How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex, sex and health educator Justine Ang Fonte guides listeners through a holistic approach to sex education for kids of all ages, from toddlers to teens.
“This education isn’t just about having direct conversations or teaching lessons—it’s also about cultivating a safe space where children feel comfortable asking questions without judgement or shame.”
You will learn not only how to explain various topics concerning sex and the body, but also how to model the behaviors that will teach your kids more than you may even realize. Through discussion and creating an environment that encourages learning, you will be able to broach subjects like consent, boundaries, puberty, sexual identity, relationships, physical attraction, and self-care.
More Great Resources
Free support materials for parents and caregivers:
Talk with Your Kids, a resource from Teen Source, offers short, accessible tips, messages and activities by age.
Sex Positive Families has a great website that covers many topics: talking about pornography and digital safety, supporting consent in everyday life, making the talks more fun, answering sex-related questions.
Amaze.org has an enormous library of short videos on hundreds of topics, and each has a “parents” section with helpful advice.
Free on-demand online training sessions for educators:
Let's Talk About Sex...Education "Beyond the Basics 2024 - online training course from Cardea.
Sex Ed 101 for Educators - 14 self-paced modules designed to prepare educators to deliver sexual health education to students.
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