Yes, Teens Need To Practice Putting On Condoms
This hands-on lesson may not happen at school, but it should happen
I can hear the giggles and nervous laughs when students first arrive – the word is out that this is "condom day" in health class. After investigating pregnancy and birth, learning about gonorrhea and syphilis, and studying HIV, today is the day when the rubber meets the road. Or, to be more precise, the wooden penis model.
This is what educators call kinesthetic learning – after going through the steps to using a condom (inspect the package, check the expiration date, pinch the reservoir tip, etc.) - students actually practice putting one on. The goal is to normalize discussing, obtaining, and applying condoms in a low-stress, lights-on environment, so that people feel more empowered to use them if and when the time comes.
At the start of class, I usually share a some points similar to these from Scarleteen’s Condom Basics: A User’s Manual:
Using a condom is easier than it looks, but the first few times, it can be tricky, especially if you're nervous about knowing how to use one, or have never even opened one before. It's important to know how to use condoms like a pro, to assure that they work to help prevent unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections or both, and because you want them to feel as good as possible for both partners. No matter what your gender is, or what your partner’s gender is, if one of you has a penis, knowing how to use a condom properly can make you safer and can make a big difference in your relationship.
Hands-on practice can be a little embarrassing, but it's the best way for teens to learn a skill that might save their lives. If they can get comfortable handling, opening, and rolling down a condom in a classroom setting, they are more likely to use a condom correctly when they actually need it.
These demonstrations also provide a chance to emphasize another important point that Heather Corinna makes in Scarleteen’s condom guide:
Lubrication is really important. Let me say it again: lubrication is REALLY important. Condoms have a high rate of success, but that rate drops when they aren't used properly, and one of the easiest ways to break a condom is by letting it get dried out. Buy some lubricant when you buy condoms. Not only will it help them work better, well-lubricated sex is generally more enjoyable sex for both you and your partner. Even if a person who has a vulva is plenty wet on their own, our own lubrication doesn't tend to work as well (or last as long) with condoms as the stuff made for condom use does. Even when a condom is already lubricated, it's a pretty stingy amount of lube. Do NOT use butter, oil, body lotion, Vaseline or ANY lubricant other than lubricants intended for use with condoms. If you could buy it in a store aisle where food is displayed, it isn't the right kind of lube.
I feel lucky to work in California public schools, which provide strong support for realistic, judgment-free sexuality education. In our classes, 14- and 15-year students learn about pregnancy, sexual orientation, reproductive anatomy, and sexually transmitted infections. They also receive frank talk about contraception, pass around IUDs and and birth control pills, and get this hands-on practice putting on condoms.
Unfortunately, in much of the rest of the country, abstinence is the only option taught to young people in schools, even though a multitude of studies have shown that these programs just don't work.
For students who don’t get reliable sex education in school, parents can look for online or community classes, like the ones offered by Talk More and Sex Positive Families, and can can pick up some condoms for their teens to practice with.
I always make it very clear that the only sure way to avoid STIs and pregnancy is to avoid sexual activity. I also point out that using both a condom and another method of birth control — like the pill, patch, ring, shot, implant, or IUD — can make vaginal sex a lot safer. Using them together is an extremely effective way to reduce the risk of getting pregnant and of getting or spreading a sexually transmitted infection.
A lot of my students do decide that abstinence is the right choice for them. But I don't expect most of them to be abstinent forever, and if and when they decide to become sexual with another person, I want them to have the information and skills they need to protect themselves.
Ultimately, I hope that each of my students goes on to become happy, healthy, well-balanced adults, and that includes having a positive, healthy sexual life.
All of our teenagers deserve clear, unbiased information about how their bodies function. They need to know how to avoid STIs and unwanted pregnancy. Some of them may wait until they are well into adulthood to have sex. But research tells us that many young people start having sex while they are still in their teens. Whenever they make that decision, I'm glad to know that my students will have the knowledge and skills to protect themselves. It's worth a little embarrassment.
Videos To Help With Condom Education
Condom Guides From New York City Schools
Amaze.org: How To Use Condoms Effectively
Amaze.org: Condom Negotiation
How It’s Made: Condoms
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Really appreciate all your work and shared resources, Christopher—I know it's helping young people (and the adults in their lives).
Crash Course just launched a sex ed curriculum! I think it will be really beneficial.