An Inclusive, Shame-Busting, Get-Real Guide To Puberty

Talking about puberty doesn't need to be so cringe. Learn how the author of "Growing Into You!" suggests changing our approach.

May 30, 2025

Hi readers! What a joy to see “Talk To Your Boys,” the new book from me and

Joanna Schroeder

, on the Aspen Ideas: Health 2025 Reading List. I’m feeling enormously grateful and a little blown away. Big ❤️ to everyone who has already preordered the book - preorders mean A LOT in the book publishing world. If you haven’t reserved a copy yet, now is a great time - use the code DAD25 and get 20% off here!

In today’s newsletter, I’m so happy to feature an interview with one of the heroes of modern sex education, Melissa Pintor Carnagey. They are thoughtful, caring, and driven, and their new book “Growing into You!” is just fantastic.

Big Love,
Christopher

The Teen Health Today Interview With Melissa Pintor Carnagey, LBSW

Hi! Could you please introduce yourself and tell readers a little bit about the work you do now and what brought you here?

I thought I’d just become a social worker when I grew up. That’s what my degree is in, but the career path has evolved to so much more!

I am the founder of Sex Positive Families, which is an online education platform inspired by both personal experience—growing up without shame-free sex ed or open talks at home—and professional experience—having taught sex education to youth and adults for over a decade, which helped me see how much shame and misinformation still surround these topics. I’m also a parent of three young people, ages 26, 15, and 11. Over the years, I’ve been able to break the cycle of taboo by fostering open talks and shame-free learning with my kids about puberty, bodies, and sexual health, which has given them the tools and support to make informed decisions along their growing up journey.

Through Sex Positive Families, I’ve combined these personal and professional experiences to create resources that equip more families with the tools and language to approach these conversations with openness, confidence, and inclusivity and to shift the narrative from fear and silence to one of trust, respect, and connection. The overwhelming response to the platform has shown me just how needed this work is.

“Growing into You” seems to have a real vision behind it. What was the need you were seeing in the world that made you decide to write this book?

Parents and caregivers are looking for ways to connect with their kids, especially during the tween and teen years, and they’re motivated to provide them with information and support—especially on tougher topics—that they wish they’d had. This has been evident across the thousands of families in our Growing Into You! virtual workshops as well as within my own parenting journey. Filling this need has been a core reason that I designed this book as not just a guide for young people to explore on their own, but also as a tool that parents can use to connect and learn alongside their young person.

Are there any specific things about this book that you think make it unique?

So many unique elements!

First, it’s inspired and informed by the workshops and programming we’ve taught to THOUSANDS of tweens, young teens, and parents from around the globe since 2019. This book is not just a regurgitation of facts; it’s a culmination of years of loving work with real families who have experienced and benefited from this education.

Second, it’s gender-inclusive, which means the content isn’t teaching about bodies or identities within a limiting binary, but acknowledges the true nature of how humans exist and change over time, within totally unique bodies and identities. This approach ensures many young people can see themselves reflected and learn, without taboo, about the experiences of others to foster empathy and understanding.

And finally, this book is interactive. After each topic of learning there are three sets of prompts that invite the reader to reflect through writing/journaling; through conversations with trusted adults or friends; and, through engaging activities. These prompts create a safe space for self-expression, helping the reader process what they’re learning and build confidence in their understanding of how the nuances of puberty, body changes, identity, emotions, relationships, etc. relate to them and their real world. This book isn’t just preaching facts at young people, but helping them explore their own voice and perspectives along their growing up journey.

If someone is thinking about buying this book for a kid in their life, is there anything they should consider in deciding if it’s the right time?

The right time is now if any one of the following applies about the kid or about you:

They are within or around the ages of 10-14.
They’ve been curious about things like bodies, periods, hygiene tips, gender, feelings, consent, relationships, or what to expect during puberty.
You want them to have a trusted, shame-free resource to help them through adolescence.
You want to learn fun ways to connect with them about puberty.
You want them to feel prepared and supported along their growing up journey.
You want to break the cycle of shame and taboo for this new generation.

If you’re still unsure, I encourage caring adults to visit a local bookstore, library, or check out a digital or audiobook copy. Explore the contents. Also, talk with the young person about how they prefer to learn. Books aren’t the only way, and there are lots of puberty resources these days. You can visit our site’s browsable resource directory at sexpositivefamilies.com/resources and search within the Puberty category to find many options for different learning styles. Just try not to avoid the topic; our kids deserve affirming support and resources, sooner than later, within their growing up journey.

Are there things you’ve learned from teaching so many classes and workshops that you wanted to emphasize in this book?

After years of teaching puberty and sex education in classrooms and virtually to both young people and parents/caring adults, one thing is true– being curious about bodies and other aspects of sexual health is a totally natural part of growing up.

Unfortunately, young people don’t always have a space that feels safe or shame-free to ask their questions or to learn about these human things. On top of that, parents often aren’t sure what to say, how to communicate it, and when to bring it up because many times they didn’t grow up with these talks modeled for them. Observing these dynamics time and again through teaching is why it’s felt important to me to create shame-free resources like this book and our interactive, family-style workshops that promote open talks and curiosities to normalize these topics and break down taboos.

How do you think the world would be different if everyone learned about puberty and sexuality in an inclusive and shame-free way?

We’d grow up more informed, confident, better at navigating relationships in healthy, equitable, consent-conscious ways. We’d be less vulnerable to the distortions and manipulations that feed capitalism, white supremacy, and all the isms. We’d know our inherent worthiness and how to respect and honor others’.

We’d essentially disrupt the many systems that benefit from our sense of disconnection, shame, and marginalization. They’d no longer have the upper hand.

I’d also be out of a job, which I’d be totally okay with. :)

What are the best ways for people to learn more about your work and keep up with you?

If you have an 8-15 year old, come learn with us! Visit us at giypuberty.com to register for a Growing Into You! virtual workshop. We teach about puberty, media & porn literacy, and sex & reproduction to help families learn and connect in fun ways and without taboo.

If you’re a parent or caring adult seeking resources to have open, shame-free talks about different sexual health topics at every stage, we have a browsable resource directory and helpful articles at sexpositivefamilies.com.

You can also connect with us on Instagram at @sexpositive_families, where you’ll find years worth of content to support these talks, and you’ll be a part of a community of hundreds of thousands of others who think these conversations are worth having too.

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