How To Become A “Trusted Adult” For Teens
Great tools for getting better at talking about substance use
Ask American adults about the drug prevention messages they heard growing up, and you’ll probably hear a lot about frying egg commercials, the “Just Say No” campaign, and the D.A.R.E. program. These initiatives, which paired abstinence messages with scare tactics, were implemented widely across the country. Over time, they began to lose credibility as research revealed they didn’t reduce drug use—and in some cases, may have had the opposite effect.
Does that mean that we should give up on talking to teens about substance use? No, it means we need better messages.
Here are four contemporary resources you can turn to for practical, up-to-date information and support.
The New Drug Talk
TheNewDrugTalk.org is a guide for parents from Song For Charlie, written with this premise in mind: “Fentanyl has changed the drug landscape, and we have to change how we talk to kids about it.”
The site has a ton of short videos and written pieces that address questions like “What leads young people to experiment with drugs?” and “What are the signs of an overdose?”
In addition to offering a bunch of smart conversation tips, the site has interactive scenarios where you can practice what to say in challenging situations. Working through these scenarios can help you improve your “drug talk” skills before they come up in real life. Here are some examples:
Someone overdosed from a pill. How do I talk to my child about it?
Your child just got access to social media. How do you keep them safe?
Your child is spending the night elsewhere. Will they be safe?
Your child’s friends use drugs. How do you keep your child safe?
Talk About Vaping
TalkAboutVaping.org is a resource from the American Lung Association that provides lots of talking points parents and caregivers can use to address this issue with teens. Here’s how the site promotes its free conversation guide:
You can play a significant role in protecting your child from the dangers of vaping and nicotine dependence. Maintain an open line of communication with your kid, and use the tips and suggestions below as a framework for having a productive conversation.
How to Talk With Your Teen About Alcohol and Weed - Ask Lisa Podcast
How do you tell your teen not to drink or use weed, while also letting them know they can ask for your help if they’ve made a bad choice? In this episode of the Ask Lisa podcast, psychologist Lisa Damour, PhD and journalist Reena Ninan unpack how to have open, judgment-free conversations about alcohol and marijuana that keep kids safe and keep the lines of communication open.
Dr. Lisa shares science-based guidance that helps parents know when to start these talks, what messages really matter, and how to model healthy behavior at home. Some of the things they cover:
Why it’s best to start the substance conversation early
How to frame the discussion around safety instead of punishment or judgment
What to say about the risks of alcohol and marijuana for the developing brain
How to respond if your teen says, “But you drink,” or “Everyone does it”
How to keep communication open so your teen knows they can always call you, no matter what
Warm, practical, and grounded in real science, this episode provides a roadmap for navigating these conversations.
“Becoming A Trusted Adult” - A Free Course From Stanford University
Developed by the Stanford REACH Lab and the Stanford Center for Health Education, the free “Becoming A Trusted Adult” course teaches practical, evidence-based skills for communicating with adolescents about substance use. It’s a 10-lesson series, but it goes by fast, as each lesson is under 10 minutes and they are all on YouTube.
The course emphasizes building a trusting relationship and engaging in nonjudgmental, two-way conversations to guide them toward making healthy choices for themselves.
WHO IS THIS FOR?
The course is designed for any adults who work with or care for young people around the age of 11-19. This may include school counselors, educators, coaches, school staff, parents, caregivers, and family members who want to have effective conversations with teens about preventing and reducing substance use.
Stanford spells out specific learning objectives for the course, saying that after viewing this course, people will be able to:
Describe why young people might use substances and the risks involved
Recognize common warning signs of substance use in young people 3. Use motivational interviewing and harm reduction to counsel young people about drug use
Personalize messages based on the stages of change model, their interests and type of drug being used
Initiate nonjudgmental, two-way conversations about substance use
Support a young person with quitting or cutting down substance use.
Have you checked out any of these resources? Do you have any other substance use education tools that you love? Let us know in the comments! — Christopher
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