How To Talk About Clavicular, Looksmaxxing, And Loneliness

Helping young people make sense of what they are seeing online

Hi Friends,

I’m traveling home to Wisconsin for my father’s funeral this weekend (read my reflections his life here) but I wanted to share some quick Talk To Your Boys-related updates with you. I appreciate all of your kind words and support!

Big love,
Christopher

Wait, Who Is Clavicular? What To Know Now

Beth Greenfield of SheKnows interviewed me for this story about the suddenly famous influencer Clavicular, who is perhaps best known for encouraging boys to hit themselves in the face with a hammer to try to produce a stronger jawline. Here’s a sample of what I told her:

“You might want to just sit down with your teen and have them take you through the accounts that they follow, talking about why and what each content creator believe in. Have them ask questions: “Who is this messenger? Are they trying to sell me something? What is the message they’re trying to get across, and do I agree?”

“Boys want advice. They want guidance. And when they’re not getting it from caring adults in their own lives, they are going online and looking for advice. Often, they have questions about how to look better or how to get bigger muscles. And as soon as you put those into a search bar or go on social media looking for answers like that, you start to get a curated feed. You get answers, but they’re often from people who don’t have your best interests in mind.”

Be sure to check out the whole article here.

How To Talk To Boys About Tough Topics

My Talk To Your Boys co-author Joanna Schroeder and I were thrilled to talk to Dr. Robyn Silverman for her podcast “How To Talk To Kids About Anything.” There’s a short clip above, and there are lots of gems in the full 51-minute episode.

We also love the many quotes they pulled out on the showpage. Here’s a sample:

• Keep Knocking on Closed Doors: Christopher Pepper – “I think that we really need to keep talking to boys longer than most people think we need to talk to them. So as they go through middle school, as they go through high school, as they go off into their young adult life or into college, to keep having kind of graduated levels of conversation involving them more and respecting that their ideas may not always be the same as yours. And even if they’re sometimes shutting the door or saying, ‘I don’t want to talk right now,’ to keep knocking on that door and keep trying to have those conversations.”

• Move Beyond the “Man Box”: Joanna Schroeder – “Boys grow up limited by what’s been referred to as the ‘man box’—these expectations and limitations that box them in as it relates to what they can do, like, become, strive for, feel, and how they should behave. And we have to actively talk to them about those messages. Because if we don’t, they just absorb them from culture and peers. And a lot of boys actually want something bigger than that—they just need permission to step outside of it.”

• Consent Means Everyone Walks Away Feeling Good: Christopher Pepper – “I really think the language of consent can be really powerful when they’re thinking about sexuality, because they can set limits and expect their partner to respect those limits. And the goal of a consensual encounter is for everybody to walk away saying, ‘Oh, that was fun. That was satisfying.’ Even if they say, ‘I don’t think I want to do that again,’ they’re not walking away feeling manipulated. They’re not feeling regretful or forced to do something.”

Mighty As A Mother Takes On Parenting Boys

Joanna Schroeder was a guest on the Mighty As A Mother podcast, and they had a great discussion, and talked candidly about:

• Why boys’ mental health deserves our attention — without ignoring the bigger picture

• The subtle ways society teaches boys to disconnect from their emotions

• How to help boys regulate anger without shaming their feelings

• What emotional safety at home actually looks like (especially when we’re dysregulated ourselves)

• How social media and online content shape boys’ identity earlier than we think

• Practical boundaries around screen time, smartphones, and tech in the bedroom

• Why repair matters more than perfection in parenting

• How to raise boys who are both strong and soft

Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or directly on the showpage.

Recent Teen Health Today Highlights

• “This Is Very, Very, Very Worrying,”

  An alarming new study on teen cannabis use and later psychosis. PLUS: Teens want more male vulnerability onscreen, and experts question tech in classrooms.

• ON STRIKE! What I Learned While Our School Were Closed

  Finding strength and joy on the picket line

• My Dad Just Died. He Would Want You To Gather.

  Lessons from a very connected life

• W. Kamau Bell - The Teen Health Today Interview

  The Emmy-award winning comedian explains how laughter can help fight ignorance and build community

• Let’s Really Talk About Immigration

  Does America still welcome the “huddled masses yearning to breathe free”?

• Every Middle School Needs A Health Class

  Tweens and teens deserve real information about their brains and bodies

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