How To Talk To Teens About Condoms
How To Talk To Teens About Condoms
Condom use is going down. Sexually transmitted infection rates are way up. What should we be saying to young people?
Why are Gen Z teens having less sex than previous generations — and using less protection when they do? In 2024, despite unprecedented access to information about sex, recent studies reveal a perplexing trend in adolescent sexual behavior.
The World Health Organization recently released Volume 5 of its Health Behaviour in School-aged Children report, shedding light on the sexual behaviors of 242,000 adolescents across 44 countries and regions of Europe, Central Asia, and Canada. A key finding? Condom use is declining among teens — but why?
That’s the opening of a fascinating essay, “The Condom Conundrum: Why Gen Z is Ditching Safe Sex” from
. It’s featured in her recently launched newsletter, Sexual Health Wealth (it’s great - go subscribe now!) Emily highlights a few key findings that might surprise parents and educators:High rates of unprotected sex: About 30% of boys and 31% of girls reported having sex without condoms or contraceptive pills (similar to 2018 findings)
Declining condom use: From 2014 to 2022, condom use dropped from 70% to 61% for boys and 63% to 57% for girls
Lack of awareness: Nearly one-third of adolescents who reported having sex indicated they either didn’t use a condom (30% of boys; 36% of girls), or didn’t know if they or their partner used a condom (9% of boys; 7% of girls)
Emily looks at many aspects of this issue, including the
The WHO's press release describes the data from the HBSC survey as “alarming,” highlighting pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) as “consequences” of unprotected sex. While this terminology might grab the attention of public health officials and policymakers, it can become problematic when filtered through media outlets.
In our digital age, teens are more likely to encounter these headlines on social media rather than reading the original WHO press release. News outlets, like The Guardian, VICE, The New York Post, and others, often sensationalize these findings, potentially obscuring the WHO’s ultimate call for more comprehensive sex education.
Emily closes the essay with this strong argument for comprehensive sex education:
It’s not just about reducing STI transmissions and unwanted pregnancies; it’s about empowering young people to blossom in their bodies, identities, and to advocate for themselves in some of their first adult relationships.
By shifting our focus from outdated, fear-based tactics to empowering, realistic education, we can better prepare adolescents to make informed decisions about their sexual health and further promote parents and educators as sources of ongoing trust in their lives.
Why Condom Use Rates Might Be Falling
Our society got a lot more comfortable talking about condoms in the 1980s and ‘90s, when it became clear that they were one of the best tools we had to prevent the spread of HIV. The message was pretty clear: condoms could save your life.
U=U and PrEP
Things have changed a lot since then, especially in regards to HIV. Now people can take medication to control their HIV, and it’s so effective it often makes the virus undetectable and untransmittable.
On the prevention side, people who are HIV negative can take medications known as PrEP to reduce their risk of contracting the virus. Because these medications work so well for preventing HIV transmission, some people consider using them a form of safe sex, even if they don’t use condoms. In this video, Dr. David Malebranche talks about PrEP and why he wishes it was available when he was younger.
Long-Acting Contraception
Another big change in regards to sexual health is that more teens are using Long Acting Reversible Contraception (LARC). In the past, options like IUDs were only offered to older patients, but now they are seen as a good option for teens.
Part of the movement in this direction comes from successes in Colorado, where a private donor’s investment in the state health department’s family planning program allowed them to “train health care providers, support family planning clinics, and remove the financial barriers to women choosing the safest, most effective form of contraception.”
The Colorado Family Planning Initiative empowered thousands of young women to make their own choices on when or whether to start a family. The results:
The teen birth rate was nearly cut in half.
The teen abortion rate was nearly cut in half.
Births to women without a high school education fell 38 percent.
Second and higher-order births to teens were cut by 57 percent.
The birth rate among young women ages 20-24 was cut by 20 percent.
The average age of first birth increased by 1.2 years among all women.
Rapid repeat births declined by 12 percent among all women.
Costs avoided: $66.1-$69.6 million.
While LARCs are very effective at reducing pregnancy risk, they don’t prevent STIs. That’s why some people opt to use condoms and LARCs at the same time so they have multiple layers of protection.
This video from Amaze.org can help explain LARCs to teens.
The Effect Of Porn
Another factor that may be affecting young people’s perceptions about condoms is that so many of them are turning to pornography as a way to see and learn about sex. Condom use is rare in porn, and that may shape teens’ perceptions about them.
That’s why I think we need to be talking directly with young people about porn, as I wrote about in this recent article:
How Do We Talk About Condoms?
If you’re preparing to talk about condoms with a young person, I recommend starting with by reviewing the basics at one of my favorite sex ed sites, Scarleteen.
In addition to providing clear instructions for use, the article talks sensitively about the importance of condoms:
“Condoms keep both you and your partner safe. They're one of the least intrusive kinds of birth control there is for people of all genders when it comes to sexual side effects. And when you don't have to worry about getting diseases or getting pregnant, sex is a lot more fun. Being a partner who steps up to the plate and just puts on a condom, without a partner having to beg, cajole, nag or argue, also shows a level of maturity and care most folks are looking for in someone they sleep with. Once you get used to using condoms, it's a total no-brainer, and when you're using good condoms properly, they really don't make a huge difference with sensation.”
You might also want to watch or share this video from Amaze.org:
Teaching About Condoms In Schools
I think schools should be making condom demonstrations a regular part of sex ed lessons. I wrote about my experiences teaching these lessons in this essay earlier this year:
I know these talks can feel awkward, but they are important for keeping young people safe. Try to stay calm, lighthearted, and curious, and keep the lines of communication open. If you think a book or video would help, search this amazing resource index from Sex Positive Families to find tools that fit your needs.
Good luck!
— Christopher