I've Got So Much Trouble On My Mind
Trans youth. Mental health. Porn literacy. "Mankeeping." There's a lot going on!
Hi Readers,
I hope you are hanging in ok - there is a lot going on in the world right now. In today’s newsletter, I address a few of the issues that I’ve been thinking about, celebrate two authors who launched books this week, and share a link to livestream my upcoming panel at Aspen Ideas: Health, where we’ll be talking about the youth mental health crisis.
Big Love,
Christopher
Families Explain Why Their Kids Needed Gender-Affirming Care
On June 18th, the Supreme Court ruled to uphold Tennessee's gender-affirming care ban in U.S. v. Skrmetti. Read more on what this means for trans youth and their families here. On the same day, we leaned that Trump Administration will shut down LGBTQ youth suicide hotline. The program has provided lifesaving services to more than 1.3 million LGBTQ young people since is started in 2022.
I know a lot of adults are still learning about trans health care for youth, and a lot of people have questions about this issue and the court decision. I encourage you to read this June 11th article from Teen Vogue, which includes interviews with families of trans kids, and with some of the young people themselves. I think its important to pay attention to the voices of those most affected by an issue, and hear them explain how this court decision may affect their lives.
How Can We Help Teen Boys Prepare To Be Good Partners In the Future?
I was glad to be one of the experts interviewed by Alice Lassman for this article on “mankeeping” for HuffPost. Here’s what she says:
Over the past two years, I’ve interviewed dozens of young men and women about their relationships. What’s emerged is a sense that women are absorbing the emotional fallout of a crisis they didn’t create. The anxieties surrounding what it means to be a man in 2025 should matter to everyone. They’re reshaping not just our politics, but the very fabric of how women and men interact — shaping how we love, how we vote, and whether we can build a future together at all. Telling the other side of the “masculinity crisis” is key to solving it.
I especially like this part of the article, where she connects what she’s seen in adults with what’s boys are leaning as teens:
A recent survey exploring young men’s health in a digital world, 55% of the young men who watch masculinity influencers believe that women don’t care about men. My research shows that women do care. They just want relationships that don’t lean on traditional gender roles. Meanwhile, boys deserve better than a culture that mocks their confusion without showing them a path through it.
That path begins with both sides recognizing what the other is carrying — and letting go of narratives that cast boys as aggressors before they even reach adolescence. Instead, as Christopher Pepper puts it, it’s “fine to give boys and men some homework.” This homework begins with fostering self-awareness, emotional literacy and responsibility for your actions.
What Does “Porn Literacy” Actually Mean?
In the latest edition of her newsletter
, writer and researcher (author of the great book Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home) explores the idea of porn literacy. Here’s how she sets up the essay:When we say someone is literate, we are indicating that they know how to read. When we say someone is financially literate – it means they know how to manage money. The key term here is “know how.” Being literate means you know how to do something.
So basically, porn literacy means you know how to watch and understand porn.
Now, if you’re thinking… GROSS! I don’t want to think about porn. No one should watch it. Why is Kate even talking about it? Well … think again.
More than half of American boys encounter porn by the time they turn 13 years old. Porn is just our reality.
Take a second to think that through. We’re talking 6th and 7th graders. Do you know any 13 year olds? They’re still LITTLE. And they’re like information sponges - soaking it all up, and forming all kinds of opinions about the world around them. Which is why we need to be honest and direct about the information they are accessing.
Mangino then interviews me, and lets me share strategies adults can use to address this issue with teens. Check it out here.
Anxious Girls, Lonely Boys: Exploring Teen Mental Health
Next week, I’ll be talking about teen mental health on a panel at Aspen Ideas: Health.
Here’s the description:
The youth mental health crisis is getting a lot of attention, but there has been less emphasis on the gender gap that highlights the differing needs of girls and boys. While young women report high levels of anxiety and depression, they also tend to have richer networks of trusted friends and confidantes. In contrast, far too many young men are being swept up in an epidemic of isolation, social disconnection, and aimlessness. Distinctive, but equally urgent, these mental health challenges call for a dedicated response that respects and supports the emotional lives of our children.
The talk is scheduled for Monday, June 23 at 4:20 p.m. MDT, and there’s a link to watch it live here. If you’re at the event in person, please say hi!
Two Important Book Launches
This week, I was so glad to attend the book launches for two of the authors featured in Four Great Books To Read This Summer. Shawn Taylor’s event was on Father’s Day, and his book, The Alphabet For New And Expecting Fathers, was perfect for this day, since it’s full of reflections on what it’s like to be a dad today and what he’s learned while raising his (now almost fully gown) daughter. It was so cool to see her in the audience!
Ashanti Branch’s book, Diary of a Confused Educator, tells the story of how his powerhouse organization, The Ever Forward Club, grew out of lunchtime meetings with students in his middle school math class. The book discussion focused on on what he’s learned and what he sees coming next.
My advice: If someone you know wrote a book and is having an event, get yourself there. Writing is often lonely and takes a long time, and being at these in-person events is one of the best way to celebrate that effort.
Recent Teen Health Today Highlights
Four Great Books To Read This Summer
Tips on parenting more effectively, how to help kids experience awe more often, and poignant personal reflections on fatherhood and education
How To Help Boys Share Their Feelings
Ashanti Branch has dedicated his life to helping boys share their emotions - here's what he's learned
An Inclusive, Shame-Busting, Get-Real Guide To Puberty
Talking about puberty doesn't need to be so cringe. Learn how the author of "Growing Into You!" suggests changing our approachAll boys and young men deserve realistic, comprehensive sex education
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